A friend of mine was surfing the web at work during his lunch hour when his supervisor came up behind him and started looking over his shoulder at the stock pages he was looking at.  My friend became quite angry at her although he was afraid to say anything to her directly.  She had invaded his space. 

    In romantic relationships it's very important to back off if one is picking up signals that the person we are interested in needs more space.   Sometimes when people feel their partner wants them to back off they do the opposite hoping they can get their partner to want to be around them.  Backing off doesn't mean you will lose the person on the contrary if you back off when she wants you to back off you're more likely to become close to her in the future.

    Everyone has a sacrosanct right to their space. They have the right to be alone. Space issues are fundamental to relationships. In a successful relationship as time goes by partners allow each other more often into their space.  There will always be time times when one partner will need space however.  It is important not to try and force oneself into the other persons space when one is not welcome and also not to become hostile because one's partner needs some space.  Lets consider the hypothetical couple Joe and Susan.  If Joe wants Susan to be with him but Susan does not want to be with Joe it is Susan's right to be left alone. Relationships can end because one person feels the other is intruding too much on their space. If Joe feels strong affection for Susan, Joe may contact Susan more often than Susan wants to be contacted and this can lead to Susan breaking off all contact. Susan may feel threatened by a lot of affection if she doesn't feel as strongly as Joe. That doesn't mean Susan won't feel the same way in the future but if Joe invades her space because he wants to be with her then she never will feel the same way.  It is very important to give people the space they need in order to have healthy and happy relationships with them. When people get married they give up a lot of their personal space.  Even then partners may need some personal space and for a happy marriage it is important to respect that.

 

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"Everybody needs a little time away,"
I heard her say,
"from each other."
"Even lover's need a holiday
far away from each other."
Hold me now.
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry.
I just want you to stay.

After all that we've been through,
I will make it up to you.
I promise to.
And after all that's been said and done,
You're just the part of me I can't let go.

Couldn't stand to be kept away
just for the day
from your body.
Wouldn't wanna be swept away,
far away
from the one that I love.
Hold me now.
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry.
I just want you to know.
Hold me now.
I really want to tell you I'm sorry.
I could never let you go.

After all that we've been through,
I will make it up to you.
I promise to.
And after all that's been said and done,
You're just the part of me I can't let go.

After all that we've been through,
I will make it up to you. I promise to.
You're gonna be the lucky one.

Hard to Say I'm Sorry
by Chicago

                                       

c o p y r i g h t   ( c )   1 9 9 9 -2004 Karl Ericson Enterprises.  All rights reserved

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