Excerpts from the Lyrics from What A Girl Wants, sung by Christina Aguilera
What a girl wants, what a girl needs
Whatever makes me happy ...
I wanna thank you for giving me time to breathe
Like a rock, you waited so patiently...
They say, "If you love something, let it go
If it comes back, it's yours; that's how you know."
A girl needs somebody
Somebody sensitive and tough
Somebody there when the going gets rough
Every night he'll be giving his love
To just one girl, one girl, one
Somebody cool but real tender too
Somebody, baby, just like you
Can keep me hanging around with
The one who always knew
And I'm thanking you
For being there for me
How many men don't do what Christina is singing on the song. My women friends have told me how men ask for sex on the first date (hardly waiting patiently and giving them time to breath.) The message those men are sending women is that they are only interested in them for sex. My women friend have also told me how these men often get angry when their instant sexual requests are rebuffed. That's hardly "loving something and letting it go".
In addition to the advice in the song it's probably good to be aware of what a women's other needs are. One women told me that what's most important to women is men who can support them and take care of them and who will be good fathers for a family. If a man shows affection for children and puppies and hides the fact that he dangles rats over pirihana cages for amusement (I knew a guy like that) that often endears him to women.
What a Man Wants:
John Hawkins, in an article titled "I Feel Sorry For Real Men" wrote:
all other things being equal, the overwhelming majority of men would vastly prefer to be with a humble waitress who thinks he’s the best thing walking than an accomplished female CEO who just sees him as an acceptable man to have as a partner in marriage.
Women want powerful wealthy men so there is a major difference here between men and women, not that women don't want men to think they are the best female walking, of course they do.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes:
It's a good exercise after a failed social attempt to consider how you would have reacted in that situation to someone acting the way you did. I've heard stories from exasperated women of how their dates spent their time together complaining about their ex-girlfriends. If at a party you told Susan (made up name) all about how your ex mistreated you, and you never heard from Susan again, think about how you would feel if some strange woman came up to you and told you all about her Ex Bill and how he mistreated her. Do you really care? Do you really want to hear that? Do you want to get involved with someone who probably will always be complaining to you about her ex and who may someday view you the same way. If you are turned off by women behaving that way than women probably will be as well.
Women have also complained to me about men who tell them about single events they plan to go to. I remember to women I was interested in talking about men walking up and down the other end of campus in affectionate tones. Showing interest in other women is hardly the way to score with a woman on a date. Although it may be next to impossible to resist staring at a beautiful girl walking by one's table in the restaurant while with a date try not to make it too obvious.
Self Help Home Page
Social Skills Home Page
Table of Contents