Don Deibel, the author of, Complete Guide to Meeting Women, and other books about dating wrote an essay called Dating Tips on How to Succeed with Women in which he made what I think are some very profound points.  He wrote that if one does the following, one will be successful with women.

Give a woman you desire faith, acceptance and respect.
Believe in her, trust her, find the good, beautiful and
uniquely admirable within her. Search for it. It is always
there!

   What is so profound about saying we should respect a girl we want to be with?  In the past when I wanted a woman I thought the key was to be sexually aggressive and to let them know that I was sexually attracted to them.  What was in my mind was not "respect her" but rather "how can I manipulate her into having sex with me".  I thought that I had to show my sexual desire in order to attract her.  That didn't work.  I thought of acting in a respectful way as a barrier to sex, as a way one might treat one's mother but not a girl I wanted to score with. 

    I think there are plenty of men who make the same mistake I do.  The worst mistake is when they yell at women walking by.   Yelling "Hey babe, will you make love to me" at an attractive woman that walks by, however, is unlikely to result in a romantic relationship.  It's more likely to result in her talking to a cop. 

   Alex Stone in his video The Secrets of Meeting and Charming Women says not to talk down to women but to treat them as equals.  If one disagrees with them he says "Don't belittle their beliefs".  He says "You don't have to agree but you should respect their opinions".

    Don Deibel writes:

Believe in her, trust her, find the good, beautiful and
uniquely admirable within her. Search for it. It is always there!

    We like it when a member of the opposite sex has a high opinion of us and looks up to us.  They like it too. 

   In one of his internet mailings (Sept 2 2000) Don Diebel listed the deadly sins of dating.  They included not to start talking sexual and making vulgar remarks about her appearance such as you have a great set of Beep etc..   Don wrote that "This is showing her lack of respect and she won't appreciate it.  They want to be treated like a lady and not some whore. "  Another mistake Don wrote about is propositioning her for sex in a crude manner.  He wrote "Treat her like a lady and don't act like a horny dog with uncontrollable hormones.   You'll make a lot better impression on her by keeping cool and calm and non-sexual and non-threatening.  "

   On a taxicab ride to a subway my taxi driver told me that before he picked me up he had been driving a man and a woman and she was yelling it him and he was cowering.  He said he often observes that the women he gives rides to are very aggressive and disrespectful toward men.  He said the two exceptions to this are the Oriental women and the Hassidic women.  He said that there is more harmony and a stronger bond among these couples.  He said that he was told that the divorce rate among Oriental couples was only 5%.  He said that when a woman respects you than you have more respect for them.

    In the movie Without Limits, Steve Prefontaine, one of America's great track runners once asked  Bowerman, his coach at the University of Oregon, why he got along so well with his wife.  Bowerman replied:

Because I believe in her

 

 


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