Some people manipulate each other with guilt in relationships.  If they are upset with their partner not being affectionate enough they may try and make their partner feel guilty about it.  One possible result is that the partner will get angry as a result and be even less affectionate.  This could create a vicious cycle as follows:

Try to make one's partner more affectionate by making one's partner feel guilty for not being more affectionate.

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Partner becomes less affectionate

Partner reacts to guilt attack on self esteem with anger

   No one likes to be around someone who makes them feel guilty. 

   Although we may feel our partner should feel guilty for not acting the way we want that doesn't mean that our partner should feel that way or act that way.

   If we want our partner to behave a certain way praising him when he does a desired behavior is much more likely to lead to the behavior we want then criticising him when he does the undesired one. 

  Other aspects of guilt are discussed on another page on this web site.


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