When my ex and I had fights she would go talk to her friends about it.  They would make comments like, "My boyfriend would never do that" or "dump him" or "you deserve better".  When I asked my friends about problems I was having with my girlfriend I would get mixed responses.   Does that mean I was the bad guy?  Part of the response we get from out friends depends on how objectively we tell them about the problems we are having with our partner.  If we tell them a very biased version than they are likely to tell us what we want to hear which is that we are right.  Also friends feel under pressure to tell you what you want to hear because they want you to continue liking them. 

    If a person is in the wrong in a relationship and convinces himself he is right by talking to friends he may feel good but he will not change his wrong behavior and that will bring unhappiness to his relationship.

    Also, often partner's share the same friends.   If one Jack tells his friends about how awful Jane is Jane is likely to be unhappy about that and that too will hurt their relationship.  People in relationships have an obligation to protect each others privacy even when they are angry at each other.   It's better to admonish your friends privately, but praise them openly.   The words in the last sentence are not mine, they are a quote of Publilius Syrus a philosopher who died in 42 bc.

    It may be better to get advice from a therapist or from parents than from friends when it comes to boyfriend or girlfriend  problems.   Also if one wants good fair advice than it's important to be objective when one tells the story and not leave out things in order to make oneself look better.

 

 


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