Wanting a Challenge:
Sometimes men and women want a challenge. If one comes on too strong then their thrill of the hunt is gone. I once had a girlfriend complain to me that I wasn't a challenge anymore.
People often want what they can't have. There's a saying that "The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill." If you pressure a partner to become involved with you they are likely to focus on all the problems of being involved with you. If you make yourself desireable to a man without pressure than you're not quite on his side of the hill yet and he is more likely to focus on how desireable you are instead of the problems he will have if he is stuck with you. The same applies to women.
I know the same applies for women because of several experiences. One is I notice how much more women are interested in me when I have with a date. That may be partly because I am less attainable and partly because they thing that if my date likes me there must be something desireable about me. Another reason is at one point in my life my women friends thought I was going to marry someone. Suddenly they became upset that I was going to be lost from the singles scene. Yet when they knew I was available they didn't show much interest.
I once had a date with a very attractive woman who went to a party with me. I knew she was ambivalent about me. I started flirting with another girl at the party because I thought that if she saw me hit if off with another woman she would be more interested in me. After the party she took me to her dorm room and started kissing me. Of course it might not have worked out that way and she might have become angry instead and that was the risk I took. I'm glad I took it.
Self Help Home Page
Social Skills Home Page
Table of Contents